Thank you so much for all your prayers.
After such a long long journey we are happy to tell you that God has found our precious boy. Due to confidentiality we cant tell you much about him yet.
Please email me if you would like to know more and I can share some details.
Prayer:
That paperwork is done fast and we can get to China fast.
That our son can feel our love across the ocean and that we can either send him a video or facetime
him sometime.
That God keeps him safe while we all wait.
For all the precious children that are at our sons orphanage. This is a special orphanage and one child
especially needs your prayers. She is living with cancer at getting treatment. She needs much
prayer.
That God prepares my children living with me now to accept and love their new brother the moment
he comes home, that they develop a strong and unbreakable bond.
Thank you all for your prayers.
Bethany and Jeremy
Monday, September 19, 2016
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Our Adoption: Summer Update
Hello again family! We hope you are having a fun summer!!!!
Lazy summer days of being outside, watching our kittens grow and go to
good homes, feeding the birds at Mendon Park, visiting the Golden Eagle
while we are there. Enjoying picnics with friends and spending hot days
on the busy Jersey Shore. Ice cream parlors with a baby cousin and an
Aunt that we see too little of. Long days at Buffalo Zoo or short
mornings at the spray pad with a beloved friend and her new baby. Spraying sister and brothers in the backyard and eating ice cream on the patio. School will start way to soon but we still have several weeks of camping, visiting Niagara Falls and going back to the shore. Life is good.
Summer time in the Hoffman household! I am sorry that I have not been keeping up on writing here. I truly wish I could share everything that has been going on with all of you. I will share what I can.
My mother was recently diagnosed with cancer. She is doing treatments. Thank you for all your prayers for this difficult time in our lives. My mother is a great lady, someone who has done so much in her life, including living 3 1/2 years in Vietnam as a missionary during the war. But when you ask her she will say she lives every day for her children and her grandchildren. I never had to worry, growing up, that my mother did not love me. As we adopt from China I realize how many many children have to live every day wondering that. God shows these things to us in heartbreaking but necessary ways. Thank you for your prayers.
Our adoption is moving forward- but very slowly. It must seem to you all like we won't ever be bringing home our baby! It also probably looks like there is nothing happening right now since we have been so busy we havent had much time to share it all. However, we are always praying and working on paperwork and talking to our agency and getting more things done. For example, we have just finished up our immigration and our Dossier(the massive stack of paperwork we have been accumulating for the last year, including our homestudy) will be on its way to China this week. We hope to be logged into China the following week. This would be awesome news if we were matched because that would mean we would very shortly be planning our trip to China :-)!
However, we are not matched yet! We have the opportunity to pray for several amazing boys and girls in our agency and in other orphanages throughout China. Our hearts are still very much with children with vision impairments(VI) but we are not sure who will come home with us. Only God knows who our baby is.
We have some specific prayer requests:
1. Obviously funding. We need to have this money ready so when we get the call to go we can go(funding is explained below). There are many disturbing reasons that we need to get this done quick. Those are explained in our next couple requests.
2. Prayers for the orphaned children in China with VI. Orphaned children who are blind or cannot see well(can only see light or shapes) are suffering in China. There is an amazing home called Bethel and there are amazing foster families for children who are blind but this is not enough. Kids who are blind in orphanages are left in their cribs to deteriorate over time. Kids who could sit up at one point are no longer able to, kids who were healthy are now malnourished. M is a little girl Jeremy and I fell in love with but are unable to adopt. Last year M, who has congenital cataracts, could sit up in her crib, walk holding onto someones hand, and had beautiful full cheeks. 6 months later she can not sit up and is extremely malnourished. Every month that goes by sitting in a crib brings these kids closer to permanent disabilities. With M her condition is curable but because she is not getting home fast enough she will most likely be permanently blind. So please pray for these kids to get home fast. And please pray about donating towards our adoption so we can get to China as soon as they tell us to go.
3. Older kids in China. Orphaned kids in China age out of the system at 14. They are put to work in the orphanage or put out on the street or institutionalized. Good places will help them find work. Some kids are lucky enough to have people donating towards their future and are able to make something of themselves. But they will still never have a family in China. Please pray for these kids and consider donating towards their future if you are not able to bring them home yourself. Please pray about adopting an older child.
4. On one of the agency websites there is a page called Angels. These are kids who never made it out of the orphanage because they passed away of their curable, treatable illness. They could also have passed away for no other reason than they could not live in the orphanage. Above one sweet 5 year old girls name and picture the caption read, "Some kids just can't live without a family". She had died although there was nothing wrong with her- she just could not live in an institution and gave up. Just recently we read about a boy who was abandoned at age 5 at a baby hatch. He cried and screamed for his mother the first night and he hasnt spoken since then. Please pray for the kids that just cant handle life in an orphanage or need life saving surgery only a family can provide. Please pray more people come forward. Adoption is not required for any of us living in our snug little worlds. But it is NEEDED for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these babies and children.
5. Pray that maybe God is calling you to adopt. You dont have to adopt from China, there are many kids right here that need you. Please pray that your home is where they should be. Dont ask God if this is what you should do, pray that God put this on your heart, a strong desire to bring home a baby or child who is suffering. At age 13 many perfectly healthy Chinese kids need a home. They are helpful, loving, and just need someone to provide them with a home so they can belong somewhere. Some agencies offer $10,000 grants for kids over the age of 10 and that doesn't include the many other agencies that will also give grants for adopting an older child. Its possible you could have most of our adoption covered in grants for an older child. We plan on going back to China to bring M home, a 10 year old boy who is blind. If you need us to help you fund raise we will!!! Group effort :-)!!!! Please pray that you can bring one of these babies or older children home.
Donations:
I know that is must
seem that we have saved all the money needed for our adoption. With all
our fundraising and selling things and begging for money you probably
think that $40,000 is as good as here. Sadly, no. We still need about
$26,000 to bring our baby home. We are applying for grants but we will
not know the outcome of these grants until we are matched. Which means
that we may be scrambling for that $26,000 when our baby is waiting for
us. What we dont want is for our child to wait longer than they have
waiting because we cant get the money right away.
So
we are asking you to please consider and pray about donating any sum to
our baby. Anything that is given will go towards the many different
funds we will need in order to bring our baby home. We have flights,
hotels, transportation within country, more paperwork once we get to
China, $5,000 cash to take into China, $400 to have our child evaluated
by the international pediatrician before we leave, and much much much
more.
We are selling bread, caramel, frosting, and many other things. We have a vendor show coming up at the end of October and I will have another vendor show Im going to be selling scarves and yummies at in November. I will post dates and times as we get closer.
Thank you for taking the time to read about our family and these kids. We pray you will help us in bringing our baby home.
Friday, May 20, 2016
I Never Thought I'd Say No
You have gone through so much with us, dear readers. Thank you for your prayers and your faithfulness through this.
Our agency has brought us two little boys. One was so precious, his name is J. We watched his video and after a talk we said no. There was nothing wrong with this boy so we knew that he would be adopted fast. We were just looking more for a child that was harder to place.
We are one of the only families our agency has that is looking for a child with Vision Impairments(VI). Not many families are willing to take that on so we have been very firm that we would like to adopt a child that is either blind or can see very little. We are open to many "disabilities" including a missing limb, fused limbs or appendages, cleft palate, blindness, deafness, and many others that would be very difficult to explain but are common in China. The list of disabilities we are open to is very long. But we definitely have a heart for those who are blind.
So knowing that our agency brought us A. A was completely blind with congenital cataracts in both eyes and so so beautiful!!! We said YES! We were so excited. Our next step was to go to the International Pediatrician and have her review his case.
After talking to the pediatrician we had to say no to A. And again our hearts broke.
We knew our limits going in. Once we realized that Gods plan was not for us to take the easy route(a "correctable" or "perfect" baby), we had to really look hard at what we could or could not do. We had said no to several disabilities, such as muscular distrophy, severe cerebral palsy, and a few others. We are not interested in having a genius in the family, thats not what we are looking for, but we are looking for a child who will be at least able to eventually be independent, even in an assisted living situation.
When the International Pediatrician talked to us she asked us if we had ever had experience with a blind person. Jeremy said no but I brought up a woman who I had worked with when I worked with adults with developmental disabilities. This woman was blind, deaf, non-verbal, and extremely self-abusive. Her mother had had Rubella while pregnant(german measles) and because of that the baby, this woman, ended up with every disability you can imagine. She was able to walk but she could do little else. She was precious. She was about 30 and she was a little shorter than Caleb(who is almost 5). I had never even talked to Jeremy about her, it was just a God thing that I would mention her to the pediatrician because towards the end of the conversation, when we just wanted it to be put very plainly for us, she said that this boy, little A, would be very similar.
We are happy in the knowledge that baby A will be able to be placed into a family who a lot more information about him, now that the international pediatrician has laid it all out for them. God is good.
Prayer requests:
1- Funding. This is going to be a little more serious right now. Usually I say, "general funding". Right now our funding is very specific. Each child we say yes to has to be brought before the international pediatrician. The first case, baby A, cost us $575. Each time we say yes to a child we will pay an additional $400. So if the next child we say yes to goes before the international pediatrician and again we have to say no, that is almost $1,000 that is just gone. This is very scary for us, we had no thoughts that we would have to say no to anyone. I never thought I would say no. So please pray and see where you heart leads you.
2- Baby A. Since his disabilities are so severe it may cause other families to also say no. Please pray that a special family is out there for this precious boy.
3- the older kids. They age out and are considered adults at age 14. Please pray that they find Jesus in this dark land.
4- our patience. We have already said no to 2 kids and we have been told no about 2 kids. This is difficult but we know that God has a plan for us. Please pray for our child, we know God has him or her out there.
Our agency has brought us two little boys. One was so precious, his name is J. We watched his video and after a talk we said no. There was nothing wrong with this boy so we knew that he would be adopted fast. We were just looking more for a child that was harder to place.
We are one of the only families our agency has that is looking for a child with Vision Impairments(VI). Not many families are willing to take that on so we have been very firm that we would like to adopt a child that is either blind or can see very little. We are open to many "disabilities" including a missing limb, fused limbs or appendages, cleft palate, blindness, deafness, and many others that would be very difficult to explain but are common in China. The list of disabilities we are open to is very long. But we definitely have a heart for those who are blind.
So knowing that our agency brought us A. A was completely blind with congenital cataracts in both eyes and so so beautiful!!! We said YES! We were so excited. Our next step was to go to the International Pediatrician and have her review his case.
After talking to the pediatrician we had to say no to A. And again our hearts broke.
We knew our limits going in. Once we realized that Gods plan was not for us to take the easy route(a "correctable" or "perfect" baby), we had to really look hard at what we could or could not do. We had said no to several disabilities, such as muscular distrophy, severe cerebral palsy, and a few others. We are not interested in having a genius in the family, thats not what we are looking for, but we are looking for a child who will be at least able to eventually be independent, even in an assisted living situation.
When the International Pediatrician talked to us she asked us if we had ever had experience with a blind person. Jeremy said no but I brought up a woman who I had worked with when I worked with adults with developmental disabilities. This woman was blind, deaf, non-verbal, and extremely self-abusive. Her mother had had Rubella while pregnant(german measles) and because of that the baby, this woman, ended up with every disability you can imagine. She was able to walk but she could do little else. She was precious. She was about 30 and she was a little shorter than Caleb(who is almost 5). I had never even talked to Jeremy about her, it was just a God thing that I would mention her to the pediatrician because towards the end of the conversation, when we just wanted it to be put very plainly for us, she said that this boy, little A, would be very similar.
We are happy in the knowledge that baby A will be able to be placed into a family who a lot more information about him, now that the international pediatrician has laid it all out for them. God is good.
Prayer requests:
1- Funding. This is going to be a little more serious right now. Usually I say, "general funding". Right now our funding is very specific. Each child we say yes to has to be brought before the international pediatrician. The first case, baby A, cost us $575. Each time we say yes to a child we will pay an additional $400. So if the next child we say yes to goes before the international pediatrician and again we have to say no, that is almost $1,000 that is just gone. This is very scary for us, we had no thoughts that we would have to say no to anyone. I never thought I would say no. So please pray and see where you heart leads you.
2- Baby A. Since his disabilities are so severe it may cause other families to also say no. Please pray that a special family is out there for this precious boy.
3- the older kids. They age out and are considered adults at age 14. Please pray that they find Jesus in this dark land.
4- our patience. We have already said no to 2 kids and we have been told no about 2 kids. This is difficult but we know that God has a plan for us. Please pray for our child, we know God has him or her out there.
Monday, May 9, 2016
God is good. He is STILL on the throne.
I promised I would write a little bit about our agencies policy to allow couples to only adopt younger than our youngest.
When we began this process we had the perfect plan. We would adopt a baby girl, as perfect or as "correctable" as possible, as young as possible. As we began our process and began looking through the children on the All Gods Children website God changed our hearts. We fell in love with a boy who we thought at the time was 8 years old. His name is Mason. We prayed and prayed. I could not watch his video without crying. He is completely blind and uses a cane. He was so sweet and kind of reminded me of a blind, Chinese Christian(I know that sounds weird but even friends who saw his video agreed!). His video showed us a smiling boy who was putting beads on a string. He looked so happy and proud of himself for the task he was accomplishing.
Jeremy and I finally asked, while we were down in NC visiting my MIL. We asked our agency during our routine phone call. And we were told that it was very unlikely that we would be allowed to adopt Mason. I know that it sounds so strange but I honestly felt like someone just told me I lost a pregnancy. I had thought for a long time that this boy was going to be my son and it had never crossed my mind, even a little bit, that we would be told no. I had dreams of introducing him to Christian, of having them be friends. I had dreams of picking him up from the orphanage and him being shy at first but then loving being with us because we so loved him already. Everything that I had thought and dreamed about him I had never imagined that our agency would tell us no. Not when such a boy, an older child with a serious special need, needed a special home. And I truly felt like our home was his special home. To be completely honest with you, I still do.
Jeremy came to me a month later and told me about another, younger boy. Robbie could see some colors and shapes. We thought we were good to go. His disability was not as severe, he could speak some english, he was younger and we had been approved up to age 5. And we got our hopes up and we were told no again. And this time I had to feel heartbreak as I watched my husband go through the same thing with Robbie that I had gone through with Mason.
Im telling you this in dramatic overtones maybe(or maybe not because the wounds are still fresh) but Im telling this to you this way so that you can understand and take seriously what I say next and how difficult it was to come to this conclusion:
I know that Gods plan is always a good one.
Even as I sit here reading what I wrote, especially about Mason, with tears in my eyes and my mind full of what could possibly be a family-less future for the boy I truly thought was my son, I know that Gods plan is going to work this out for the best. Time has healed me some. I still look longingly at his picture and think about how much I love him and how much I would love him here in the US with us, tucking him into his bed with his brothers. But God is doing what is best. And God is good. I have to trust that Mason will be in Gods hands. And when Mason is adopted I will be the first to message that family and tell them that I love that boy and that I will keep praying for him forever.
But God is good. I know that you can read my heartbreak so I want you to know that through what seems like such an unjust thing, GOD IS STILL GOOD. He is STILL on the throne.
Do not think that we have given up. If Mason is not matched with a family when he is 13 we will fight again for him, to keep him from aging out. And if we are denied again we will donate towards his future through a program our agency has.
My dreams have changed for this precious boy because I know that God wants me to dream other things to get through this. I dream that Mason is matched with an INCREDIBLE family. I dream that we can meet him or that he and Christian can become penpals. I dream that he is LOVED but most of all I dream that he find Jesus and knows that he is someones son and always will be.
So we move on. I have to confess my thoughts are still with older children so I am still praying through every difficult turn. But we have seen some sweet babies as we have continued to press forward. We know our son or daughter is there somewhere, crying silent tears and wishing their mom and dad would want them soon. We are so thankful to God that we can catch them before that hurt sinks in too deeply. Thank God that we can adopt a child before they see others leave before them, so they never feel that hurt.
I know some of you are angry, some are horrified, some hate China, some are thinking that our agency doesnt know what they are doing. Im here to ask you to please dont feel any of those things. We are sad. You can feel sadness with us. But dont be angry at our agency or at China. God is still on the throne and He knows what is happening in both places. Our agency is doing the best they can do and after 25 years of following Gods call for orphans, we must trust them. We have to trust that they love Mason and Robbie just as much as we do, maybe even more. Instead of being angry at anyone research about Chinas orphanages, donate funds to an older child, especially children aging out, or look around at your empty nest and see if an older child, a 13 year old boy or girl who will, in 1 years time, be called an adult, would fit well in your home. And please pray pray pray pray for these kids. I truly believe that God has a very special place in His kingdom for orphans. Please pray for these kids.
When we began this process we had the perfect plan. We would adopt a baby girl, as perfect or as "correctable" as possible, as young as possible. As we began our process and began looking through the children on the All Gods Children website God changed our hearts. We fell in love with a boy who we thought at the time was 8 years old. His name is Mason. We prayed and prayed. I could not watch his video without crying. He is completely blind and uses a cane. He was so sweet and kind of reminded me of a blind, Chinese Christian(I know that sounds weird but even friends who saw his video agreed!). His video showed us a smiling boy who was putting beads on a string. He looked so happy and proud of himself for the task he was accomplishing.
Jeremy and I finally asked, while we were down in NC visiting my MIL. We asked our agency during our routine phone call. And we were told that it was very unlikely that we would be allowed to adopt Mason. I know that it sounds so strange but I honestly felt like someone just told me I lost a pregnancy. I had thought for a long time that this boy was going to be my son and it had never crossed my mind, even a little bit, that we would be told no. I had dreams of introducing him to Christian, of having them be friends. I had dreams of picking him up from the orphanage and him being shy at first but then loving being with us because we so loved him already. Everything that I had thought and dreamed about him I had never imagined that our agency would tell us no. Not when such a boy, an older child with a serious special need, needed a special home. And I truly felt like our home was his special home. To be completely honest with you, I still do.
Jeremy came to me a month later and told me about another, younger boy. Robbie could see some colors and shapes. We thought we were good to go. His disability was not as severe, he could speak some english, he was younger and we had been approved up to age 5. And we got our hopes up and we were told no again. And this time I had to feel heartbreak as I watched my husband go through the same thing with Robbie that I had gone through with Mason.
Im telling you this in dramatic overtones maybe(or maybe not because the wounds are still fresh) but Im telling this to you this way so that you can understand and take seriously what I say next and how difficult it was to come to this conclusion:
I know that Gods plan is always a good one.
Even as I sit here reading what I wrote, especially about Mason, with tears in my eyes and my mind full of what could possibly be a family-less future for the boy I truly thought was my son, I know that Gods plan is going to work this out for the best. Time has healed me some. I still look longingly at his picture and think about how much I love him and how much I would love him here in the US with us, tucking him into his bed with his brothers. But God is doing what is best. And God is good. I have to trust that Mason will be in Gods hands. And when Mason is adopted I will be the first to message that family and tell them that I love that boy and that I will keep praying for him forever.
But God is good. I know that you can read my heartbreak so I want you to know that through what seems like such an unjust thing, GOD IS STILL GOOD. He is STILL on the throne.
Do not think that we have given up. If Mason is not matched with a family when he is 13 we will fight again for him, to keep him from aging out. And if we are denied again we will donate towards his future through a program our agency has.
My dreams have changed for this precious boy because I know that God wants me to dream other things to get through this. I dream that Mason is matched with an INCREDIBLE family. I dream that we can meet him or that he and Christian can become penpals. I dream that he is LOVED but most of all I dream that he find Jesus and knows that he is someones son and always will be.
So we move on. I have to confess my thoughts are still with older children so I am still praying through every difficult turn. But we have seen some sweet babies as we have continued to press forward. We know our son or daughter is there somewhere, crying silent tears and wishing their mom and dad would want them soon. We are so thankful to God that we can catch them before that hurt sinks in too deeply. Thank God that we can adopt a child before they see others leave before them, so they never feel that hurt.
I know some of you are angry, some are horrified, some hate China, some are thinking that our agency doesnt know what they are doing. Im here to ask you to please dont feel any of those things. We are sad. You can feel sadness with us. But dont be angry at our agency or at China. God is still on the throne and He knows what is happening in both places. Our agency is doing the best they can do and after 25 years of following Gods call for orphans, we must trust them. We have to trust that they love Mason and Robbie just as much as we do, maybe even more. Instead of being angry at anyone research about Chinas orphanages, donate funds to an older child, especially children aging out, or look around at your empty nest and see if an older child, a 13 year old boy or girl who will, in 1 years time, be called an adult, would fit well in your home. And please pray pray pray pray for these kids. I truly believe that God has a very special place in His kingdom for orphans. Please pray for these kids.
Timing and Patience
Hello everyone!
Things have gotten increasingly complicated in our very simple lives. I am not one to put my kids in a lot of classes, we like to learn at home, exercise at home and do crafts at home. However, this year my oldest son got interested in baseball so we are now at baseball every Tuesday. My youngest daughter decided to try her hand at computer coding and finishes up her last class at Sylvan this Thursday. My second oldest, who wants to divide her adult life between short term missions to China as a therapist and a full time job as a baker, had the awesome opportunity to take a 9 week Wilton Decorating class through our home school co-op. So we are running every which way right now, which is definitely not the norm in our household! I am sorry that I have not been able to keep up with my writing!
Please allow me to fill you in on what we are doing now in our adoption process:
We have sent our dossier and fee into the hands of our agency and they are getting ready to ship it to China to be logged in. Once we get our log in date(LID) we no longer have to worry so much about deadlines. This is a huge relief. Our dossier was our last huge packet of paperwork. We are happy to say goodbye :-).
We have sent our paperwork and fee to immigration and are now waiting for them to set up another fingerprinting.
We have sent in our medical checklist to our agency. These sheets have every disability you can even imagine and many you do not want to on it. We are very open to almost every disability but there are many disabilities we think the agency would deny us due to the number of children we have in our home.
Many of you know that we have had our hearts set on adopting an older child. We received the heartbreaking news that we will not be allowed to adopt a child who is out of birth order. This means that the child we adopt must be 10 months younger than our youngest(Josiah just turned 3). We received this news 3 weeks ago and are just now beginning to recover from that news and set our minds on having another young one in our home. I will have another post on this subject at another time, as many people have been upset and some angry over our agency's decision. So stay tuned.
On another completely unrelated note but not really because it has to do with family: my amazing mother is battling bone marrow cancer- also known as multiple myeloma. I wont invade her privacy or mine by going into all sorts of details but I will ask you to be very patient with me, my time and my emotions.
Our prayer requests have not changed much :-) but here they are:
1- sorry! financials!!! We got to our deadline, passed it, received a VERY generous extension, passed that, and ended up having to pay the fee for our dossier out of funds from another of our accounts. We have bills to pay that may take a hit this time around. So please pray that we start making money quickly. We have a vendor show, another garage sale, a bake sale, and many other things planned.
2- for time for me- between trips to see mom, trips to drs, trips to classes with kids, keeping up with meals and cleaning and home schooling, and on top of all of that trying to plan and carry out fundraisers, Im is feeling a little overwhelmed. Please pray that God grants me extra times in my schedule to just snuggle in bed with my kids, spend quality time with Jeremy, and just look at my family. Praising God that school is almost over and we can enjoy a long summer.
3- for my mother, for pain management, relief from chemo side effects, and so much more.
4- for Jeremy who is trying to balance finding grants and being the provider of our home.
5- for me and my back. Knowing that now we will be picking up a baby in China I need to have time to work on strengthening my back, which is damaged due to years of working with people in wheelchairs. Once our child realizes that we are taking him or her they tend not to want to be put down and will want to be held most of the 2 weeks we are in China. Most importantly, however, holding our child also fosters attachment which is SO critical at the age our child will be. They encourage that a child attach to one caregiver primarily and it would not be good to have him or her attach to Jeremy first because as soon as we are back in the states he will be at work full time again. So pray that my back can handle constant carrying of a child who will be the size of approximately a 1 or 2 year old.
6- the referral process. This is by far the most difficult thing about our adoption. Children are brought to us, we review them, and then we decide who will be our child. There is obviously a lot more to it but this is basically what we are doing. So please pray for this very emotionally difficult process.
Thank you so much for your time reading through our blog. If you feel led to donate please do so by going to our gofundme account at gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption. Please continue to pray for us. We know this is a long time to wait, trust me, we definitely know :-). And we thank you for continuing to support us and ask us about our baby. Love you all!!!!!
Things have gotten increasingly complicated in our very simple lives. I am not one to put my kids in a lot of classes, we like to learn at home, exercise at home and do crafts at home. However, this year my oldest son got interested in baseball so we are now at baseball every Tuesday. My youngest daughter decided to try her hand at computer coding and finishes up her last class at Sylvan this Thursday. My second oldest, who wants to divide her adult life between short term missions to China as a therapist and a full time job as a baker, had the awesome opportunity to take a 9 week Wilton Decorating class through our home school co-op. So we are running every which way right now, which is definitely not the norm in our household! I am sorry that I have not been able to keep up with my writing!
Please allow me to fill you in on what we are doing now in our adoption process:
We have sent our dossier and fee into the hands of our agency and they are getting ready to ship it to China to be logged in. Once we get our log in date(LID) we no longer have to worry so much about deadlines. This is a huge relief. Our dossier was our last huge packet of paperwork. We are happy to say goodbye :-).
We have sent our paperwork and fee to immigration and are now waiting for them to set up another fingerprinting.
We have sent in our medical checklist to our agency. These sheets have every disability you can even imagine and many you do not want to on it. We are very open to almost every disability but there are many disabilities we think the agency would deny us due to the number of children we have in our home.
Many of you know that we have had our hearts set on adopting an older child. We received the heartbreaking news that we will not be allowed to adopt a child who is out of birth order. This means that the child we adopt must be 10 months younger than our youngest(Josiah just turned 3). We received this news 3 weeks ago and are just now beginning to recover from that news and set our minds on having another young one in our home. I will have another post on this subject at another time, as many people have been upset and some angry over our agency's decision. So stay tuned.
On another completely unrelated note but not really because it has to do with family: my amazing mother is battling bone marrow cancer- also known as multiple myeloma. I wont invade her privacy or mine by going into all sorts of details but I will ask you to be very patient with me, my time and my emotions.
Our prayer requests have not changed much :-) but here they are:
1- sorry! financials!!! We got to our deadline, passed it, received a VERY generous extension, passed that, and ended up having to pay the fee for our dossier out of funds from another of our accounts. We have bills to pay that may take a hit this time around. So please pray that we start making money quickly. We have a vendor show, another garage sale, a bake sale, and many other things planned.
2- for time for me- between trips to see mom, trips to drs, trips to classes with kids, keeping up with meals and cleaning and home schooling, and on top of all of that trying to plan and carry out fundraisers, Im is feeling a little overwhelmed. Please pray that God grants me extra times in my schedule to just snuggle in bed with my kids, spend quality time with Jeremy, and just look at my family. Praising God that school is almost over and we can enjoy a long summer.
3- for my mother, for pain management, relief from chemo side effects, and so much more.
4- for Jeremy who is trying to balance finding grants and being the provider of our home.
5- for me and my back. Knowing that now we will be picking up a baby in China I need to have time to work on strengthening my back, which is damaged due to years of working with people in wheelchairs. Once our child realizes that we are taking him or her they tend not to want to be put down and will want to be held most of the 2 weeks we are in China. Most importantly, however, holding our child also fosters attachment which is SO critical at the age our child will be. They encourage that a child attach to one caregiver primarily and it would not be good to have him or her attach to Jeremy first because as soon as we are back in the states he will be at work full time again. So pray that my back can handle constant carrying of a child who will be the size of approximately a 1 or 2 year old.
6- the referral process. This is by far the most difficult thing about our adoption. Children are brought to us, we review them, and then we decide who will be our child. There is obviously a lot more to it but this is basically what we are doing. So please pray for this very emotionally difficult process.
Thank you so much for your time reading through our blog. If you feel led to donate please do so by going to our gofundme account at gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption. Please continue to pray for us. We know this is a long time to wait, trust me, we definitely know :-). And we thank you for continuing to support us and ask us about our baby. Love you all!!!!!
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Under the Surface
We are in REVIEW!!!!
This is awesome, they will be making corrections to our home study and looking at it from Chinas point of view, make sure it is OK to send to China for approval. It has been weeks since they have had our home study and we are trying to be patient!!!
This is awesome, they will be making corrections to our home study and looking at it from Chinas point of view, make sure it is OK to send to China for approval. It has been weeks since they have had our home study and we are trying to be patient!!!
We have sent our dossier to be state certified and that has been returned to us and sent to All Gods Children. This is the only thing that we could do to move things ahead on our end, as I said, right now we just wait for AGCs home study approval. Then the home study needs to be sent back to us, sent to be state certified and then sent out to AGC again. Then our dossier and home study go to CHINA!!! So exciting.
New news to some of you: We have requested a child. This child has been on our hearts for a long time. Because of some special circumstances we have to be extra reviewed and given an "exception" to adopt him/her bc technically they would not have referred him/her to us bc of those circumstances. We are praying that by either this thursday or next thursday we will get a YES and get his/her paperwork/videos/medical records/anything they have on this child from the time he/she came to them. Then we meet with an international pediatrician and begin a whole other set of paperwork, etc, before we say a final yes.
The reason we are not telling you who this child is 1- we dont want it in writing in case they say no. We know God is in control and if its a no thats fine and we will deal with that as a couple(and, yes, like Mason it will definitely be a grieving process), but we arent telling anyone til it is a yes! 2- the kids look over our shoulder and we are not telling them either until it is a YES! 3- we will be having a huge and fun announcement party when the YES is final!! This party will be first and foremost to make it a fun announcement for our children, thats when we will tell them. We hope this will be in May! Right now we feel it has taken FOREVER so we are hoping May we will be waiting for our travel date!!! If we have our travel date by then we will probably announce that too!!!
Thank you for all your prayers. I cant tell you what it means to us to have you continue to think about us. When you see us you see us being mom/dad or husband/wife and doing the things we always do but underneath the surface we are always thinking about our child and about China and China's orphans.We know that our future will be filled of thoughts of China and its people and children. We pray every day for those kids in the world without a family. Please join us in that prayer.
Specific prayer requests:
1: Unfortunately I have to start out with the prayer for funding. We are trying to raise money but scarf and bake sale items have slowed and we still need about $25,000 more dollars. Please pray that we get some grants to cover the costs.
2. Prayer for our breakfast on the 9th. Please pray God does a miracle and hundreds come in!!! Please tell your friends.
3. Please pray for all the older kids in Xiamen orphanage. Mason is, obviously, on my heart all the time. Please pray for him and all the kids that are aging out soon.
4. Please pray for more brave souls to come forward and adopt, not just from China but from anywhere!!!!!
We love you all,
love
Jeremy, Bethany, Mariah, Francesca, Cosette, Christian, Caleb, and Josiah PLUS ONE!!!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
While Waiting
I have had several people ask where we are right now in our very long process. So here is a quick update!
We are still trying to raise funds! This may be very boring to continue hearing and Im so sorry! We wish that we had the money to adopt without begging for money. But at the same time we have been so blessed to meet so many new friends and it has been so fun making things for people! Our next fundraiser will be a breakfast and then a babysitting night! More of that to come in my next post. As always, you can donate funds to our go fund me page: gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption. We still have $32,000 to go!
Now where we are in our process: we have handed in our home study. It has been approved by our homestudy agency, Catholic Family Center, with a couple revisions. All Gods Children is now looking it over and could possibly ask for even more revisions. We will then be getting the final copy notarized and sent to the Secretary of State. They will send it back stamped and then we send that and a lot of other paperwork to Immigration. Then we get fingerprinted.....again(and this time we have to pay for it)......and send everything, once it is back from Immigration/homeland security, to China for approval. (Anytime after they approve our home study we could get a referral, meaning they could come to us saying they have a child they think would fit our family.) Then we get our LID(Log In Date) with China. If we have decided on our child we take the next steps: getting ourselves ready for our visit to China and pick up our precious child. I dont think you can even imagine our excitement!!!
So right now we are waiting....and waiting. It is very difficult to sit and wait to see who your child is going to be. It is not better or worse than waiting to give birth. Both are equally amazing in different ways. We are not waiting in excitement for our baby to be born, thinking about clothes and cribs and night time feedings and how to nurse and do home school at the same time :-). Instead our thoughts are on much different things, no less exciting but more challenging. Our child is already waiting. We will not be taking a child under 3, the Lord has led us to adopt an older child. He or she may be 5 years old with a significant disability. We are thinking of and considering all the therapies we may have to draw from in our community. We are thinking of how to encourage our child to "attach" to us, the most important process of bringing our child home. We are thinking of meals to give him or her before they begin to get used to our meals, with its different textures and tastes. We are thinking of how in the world to communicate with a child who has ever only spoken Mandarin.
We are thinking of the twinning process that will most likely be taking place with either Christian, Caleb or Josiah. We have to be sensitive to our child who is coming here from China as well as the children that we have given birth to. They, no doubt, even Mariah, have a romanticized idea of what this process is going to look like. I dont think that even Jeremy and I will know how difficult it is going to be once our child comes home.
But we do know that we will love him or her. We love them.... even as we wait.
Prayer requests:
1- funding(sorry again, haha)
2- patience. This process is long and frustrating. People do not move as fast as you would like them to. So please pray that we wait patiently for everything.
3- our child. He or she is no doubt sitting there wondering if he or she will ever have a family. This is heartbreaking to think about. Like we loved our future birth-children, before we even knew they were coming, we love this child. To think of any suffering that they have to endure before we bring them home is absolutely heartbreaking. The thought of any of my kids suffering or feeling hopeless is heartbreaking. So please pray that our child feels our love somehow, that Jesus even puts that on his or her heart right at this moment.
4- Our birth children. Patience and love for each other, Jesus and our new child.
5- our marriage. This process is extremely difficult. We have begun our date nights again because it is so important that we stay connected as a couple. We could use prayers for us as parents, as always, but even more importantly we need prayer for us to grow stronger, stronger in our love for Jesus and stronger in our love and devotion as a couple.
Thank you so much for praying for us, thank you so much for praying for our child.
Im waiting
Waiting on you Lord.
And I am hopeful!!!
Im waiting on you, Lord,
Though it is painful....
But patiently I will wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident!
Taking every step in obedience.
While Im waiting
I will serve you.
While Im waiting
I will worship.
While Im waiting
I will not fade.
Ill be running the race, even as I wait.
I'm waiting.
Waiting on you Lord
and I am peaceful.
I'm waiting on your Lord
Though its not easy.
But faithfully I will wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.
While Im waiting I will serve you.
While Im waiting I will worship.
While Im waiting I will not fade.
I will be running the race even while I wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident.
Ill be taking every step in obedience.
I will serve you while I'm waiting.
I will worship while I'm waiting on you, Lord.
We are still trying to raise funds! This may be very boring to continue hearing and Im so sorry! We wish that we had the money to adopt without begging for money. But at the same time we have been so blessed to meet so many new friends and it has been so fun making things for people! Our next fundraiser will be a breakfast and then a babysitting night! More of that to come in my next post. As always, you can donate funds to our go fund me page: gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption. We still have $32,000 to go!
Now where we are in our process: we have handed in our home study. It has been approved by our homestudy agency, Catholic Family Center, with a couple revisions. All Gods Children is now looking it over and could possibly ask for even more revisions. We will then be getting the final copy notarized and sent to the Secretary of State. They will send it back stamped and then we send that and a lot of other paperwork to Immigration. Then we get fingerprinted.....again(and this time we have to pay for it)......and send everything, once it is back from Immigration/homeland security, to China for approval. (Anytime after they approve our home study we could get a referral, meaning they could come to us saying they have a child they think would fit our family.) Then we get our LID(Log In Date) with China. If we have decided on our child we take the next steps: getting ourselves ready for our visit to China and pick up our precious child. I dont think you can even imagine our excitement!!!
So right now we are waiting....and waiting. It is very difficult to sit and wait to see who your child is going to be. It is not better or worse than waiting to give birth. Both are equally amazing in different ways. We are not waiting in excitement for our baby to be born, thinking about clothes and cribs and night time feedings and how to nurse and do home school at the same time :-). Instead our thoughts are on much different things, no less exciting but more challenging. Our child is already waiting. We will not be taking a child under 3, the Lord has led us to adopt an older child. He or she may be 5 years old with a significant disability. We are thinking of and considering all the therapies we may have to draw from in our community. We are thinking of how to encourage our child to "attach" to us, the most important process of bringing our child home. We are thinking of meals to give him or her before they begin to get used to our meals, with its different textures and tastes. We are thinking of how in the world to communicate with a child who has ever only spoken Mandarin.
We are thinking of the twinning process that will most likely be taking place with either Christian, Caleb or Josiah. We have to be sensitive to our child who is coming here from China as well as the children that we have given birth to. They, no doubt, even Mariah, have a romanticized idea of what this process is going to look like. I dont think that even Jeremy and I will know how difficult it is going to be once our child comes home.
But we do know that we will love him or her. We love them.... even as we wait.
Prayer requests:
1- funding(sorry again, haha)
2- patience. This process is long and frustrating. People do not move as fast as you would like them to. So please pray that we wait patiently for everything.
3- our child. He or she is no doubt sitting there wondering if he or she will ever have a family. This is heartbreaking to think about. Like we loved our future birth-children, before we even knew they were coming, we love this child. To think of any suffering that they have to endure before we bring them home is absolutely heartbreaking. The thought of any of my kids suffering or feeling hopeless is heartbreaking. So please pray that our child feels our love somehow, that Jesus even puts that on his or her heart right at this moment.
4- Our birth children. Patience and love for each other, Jesus and our new child.
5- our marriage. This process is extremely difficult. We have begun our date nights again because it is so important that we stay connected as a couple. We could use prayers for us as parents, as always, but even more importantly we need prayer for us to grow stronger, stronger in our love for Jesus and stronger in our love and devotion as a couple.
Thank you so much for praying for us, thank you so much for praying for our child.
Im waiting
Waiting on you Lord.
And I am hopeful!!!
Im waiting on you, Lord,
Though it is painful....
But patiently I will wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident!
Taking every step in obedience.
While Im waiting
I will serve you.
While Im waiting
I will worship.
While Im waiting
I will not fade.
Ill be running the race, even as I wait.
I'm waiting.
Waiting on you Lord
and I am peaceful.
I'm waiting on your Lord
Though its not easy.
But faithfully I will wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.
While Im waiting I will serve you.
While Im waiting I will worship.
While Im waiting I will not fade.
I will be running the race even while I wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident.
Ill be taking every step in obedience.
I will serve you while I'm waiting.
I will worship while I'm waiting on you, Lord.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Craft Show Sign Up!
We have found a location for our Hoffman Adoption Craft Show!!! Please click the link below and you will get all the information you need and the form to fill out to get a table to sell your items and at the same time help us bring our baby home.
https://www.facebook.com/events/802829936512958/
Thank you so much for considering helping us with this event. Please spread the news! If you have anyone who sells anything please encourage them to sign up!!!
You can email me to get in on the fun: davidspsalm_23@yahoo.com
Thank you for your support!!!!
https://www.facebook.com/events/802829936512958/
Thank you so much for considering helping us with this event. Please spread the news! If you have anyone who sells anything please encourage them to sign up!!!
You can email me to get in on the fun: davidspsalm_23@yahoo.com
Thank you for your support!!!!
Saturday, January 9, 2016
God is With Us
God has been doing amazing things!!!!
We had a marvelous vacation down in North Carolina. We took a break from all the stress, school, even Christmas, to enjoy each other as a couple, with our kids and with Jeremy's mother. It was awesome.
Towards the end of our visit we had our bi-weekly call with our paperwork coordinator(thats how bad the paperwork is, we have to have a coordinator baby sit us through the process. She has been an AMAZING Godsend. If you are considering adoption I definitely recommend All Gods Children). At the end of our call we asked to be transferred to Jen, who is one of the incredible ladies that does the referrals to place children with their families. We had prayed and wanted to talk to Jen about making Mason, the 10 year old boy who we have been praying about since this process began, our son.
We never expected the answer she gave.
While talking to her she heard just from our voices how much we already love Mason. She said, regretfully, that she did not believe Mason would be placed with us....and to guard our hearts(although, she told us, she could see we had already given our hearts). There would be too many exceptions that needed to be made: he would not be the youngest, which is what they prefer, so that was exception number one(they always prefer to match children into families birth order). He is also blind and the children who are blind have the hardest time adjusting statistically. He really should be the youngest and he should not be 1 of 5(not including Mariah, as she is considered an adult through the agency). So there was exception number two.
This is not an absolute, we will continue to pray about Mason and wait until they have our home study and dossier in their hands. There may be circumstances that are clear in our home study that would make them change their minds. So we leave it in Gods hands.
So that was our difficult news. Now to share how God answered a specific prayer in a huge way!!!
We finally got our psychological evaluation scheduled, which is the last piece to our home study. Unfortunately our psychologist got sick! We were very upset, as was Julie, our paperwork coordinator. She had already expressed her concern that if we did not get it done fast we would possibly not make our deadline.
We, me especially, need to realize that with God all things are possible. I flipped and started looking up numbers and talking to everyone I could think of. While I was doing this God was whispering in my ear, "Ive got this, I've got this". Finally, after hitting all dead ends, I said, "Fine" and walked away from the computer. I got up and started cleaning the basement like I should have been doing. Jeremy came home. And then the phone rang.
God answered our need in a huge way. First, the woman we spoke to is awesome. She immediately understood our time issue and wanted to help. Second, she blew us away by saying that, instead of the $600 we were going to pay, she only charged $125. WHAT???? God did have this. Like He has had for the entire process. Third, she can get us in Tuesday and we will be able to walk away with the paperwork! So by the middle of next week we should be sending all our paperwork into the Secretary of State. We are praying that by our next phone call, which is January 21, we will be sending our entire packet of paperwork to All Gods Children.
Thank you so much for your prayers. Please also pray for Mason, Beck, Lilly, and Hope. All of these amazing kids are waiting for their forever families.
If you would like to donate towards our adoption please go to gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption or contact us through our facebook page facebook.com/hoffmanadoption.
We had a marvelous vacation down in North Carolina. We took a break from all the stress, school, even Christmas, to enjoy each other as a couple, with our kids and with Jeremy's mother. It was awesome.
Towards the end of our visit we had our bi-weekly call with our paperwork coordinator(thats how bad the paperwork is, we have to have a coordinator baby sit us through the process. She has been an AMAZING Godsend. If you are considering adoption I definitely recommend All Gods Children). At the end of our call we asked to be transferred to Jen, who is one of the incredible ladies that does the referrals to place children with their families. We had prayed and wanted to talk to Jen about making Mason, the 10 year old boy who we have been praying about since this process began, our son.
We never expected the answer she gave.
While talking to her she heard just from our voices how much we already love Mason. She said, regretfully, that she did not believe Mason would be placed with us....and to guard our hearts(although, she told us, she could see we had already given our hearts). There would be too many exceptions that needed to be made: he would not be the youngest, which is what they prefer, so that was exception number one(they always prefer to match children into families birth order). He is also blind and the children who are blind have the hardest time adjusting statistically. He really should be the youngest and he should not be 1 of 5(not including Mariah, as she is considered an adult through the agency). So there was exception number two.
This is not an absolute, we will continue to pray about Mason and wait until they have our home study and dossier in their hands. There may be circumstances that are clear in our home study that would make them change their minds. So we leave it in Gods hands.
So that was our difficult news. Now to share how God answered a specific prayer in a huge way!!!
We finally got our psychological evaluation scheduled, which is the last piece to our home study. Unfortunately our psychologist got sick! We were very upset, as was Julie, our paperwork coordinator. She had already expressed her concern that if we did not get it done fast we would possibly not make our deadline.
We, me especially, need to realize that with God all things are possible. I flipped and started looking up numbers and talking to everyone I could think of. While I was doing this God was whispering in my ear, "Ive got this, I've got this". Finally, after hitting all dead ends, I said, "Fine" and walked away from the computer. I got up and started cleaning the basement like I should have been doing. Jeremy came home. And then the phone rang.
God answered our need in a huge way. First, the woman we spoke to is awesome. She immediately understood our time issue and wanted to help. Second, she blew us away by saying that, instead of the $600 we were going to pay, she only charged $125. WHAT???? God did have this. Like He has had for the entire process. Third, she can get us in Tuesday and we will be able to walk away with the paperwork! So by the middle of next week we should be sending all our paperwork into the Secretary of State. We are praying that by our next phone call, which is January 21, we will be sending our entire packet of paperwork to All Gods Children.
Thank you so much for your prayers. Please also pray for Mason, Beck, Lilly, and Hope. All of these amazing kids are waiting for their forever families.
If you would like to donate towards our adoption please go to gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption or contact us through our facebook page facebook.com/hoffmanadoption.
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