Life is a crazy, crazy thing.
We are living life every day to the fullest. With 6 kids things can be crazy....even when we try so hard to be normal. My second oldest, Fran, broke her foot while in the middle of our complicated home study. We were going to do our walk through and instead found ourselves at several doctors visits. After CT scans and x-rays and blood tests it ended up in just a cast instead of the surgery they originally thought would have to happen. So praise the Lord.
On the way out the door for our second Drs visit we ran into our social worker. It turned out we had scheduled our walk through apt on Monday, not Tuesday. Both Jeremy and I thought it was Tuesday! So that was horrible but our SW was so understanding about it. She has been a true blessing this entire time. I'm so glad we like her! She will be our SW for the next several years. There will be one visit a month for 12 months and then they become farther and farther apart. So its definitely a good thing that we get a long!!!
So our home study is almost completed. We completed our interviews, our biography and all our background information. She met and chatted with the kids which was fun. I wonder how often she gets to chat with 6 kids from one family.
We still have our medical apts and our psychological apts to do. After those are completed we are finished and can continue to work on our dossier. The dossier is basically mad paperwork, including our completed home study report. We have already begun this process but our main objective right now is to get our home study completed.
We have a huge problem facing us right now. After we complete our home study we have 3 months to get our dossier done and turned in. But we can not finish our home study without $2,500 to give to them. We have $165 so far. We are not too proud to tell you that we desperately need your help.
I know there are people that are holding back from giving. There are some things on my heart that I want to clarify, that people have spoken to me about or things that I have heard(unfortunately from a second source). I want to give you answers so that you can feel good about giving to our adoption. I think we all realize the horrors that can take place in the Chinese orphanages. I don't think people just don't want to help those children. So I will just answer some other concerns.
1. "I don't want to give until your family is approved or I'm giving to something that could possibly not even help anything."
I completely understand this concern. You don't know much about Jeremy and I personally growing up, where we've worked in the past, or, if you don't hang out with us on a regular basis, if we are truly able to care for another child, until the social worker pokes at us and decides we are able(and let me tell you, it is not possible to hide anything from this woman. They go all the way back to your birth!!!!) and approves us. We know not many of our friends have a ton of money to give to a cause unless they know for a fact it will in fact be helping a cause.
If this is your concern here are a couple things that could help you give without fear :-):
a. You could wait until we complete our home study and just give later.
b. You could give but tell us if you would like to be reimbursed should our home study not pass. You may think this is rude but we will NOT be offended and we will even write you a receipt if you would like. If we donated $100 to a cause and that cause fell through it would suck to not get our money back. We understand and we WILL NOT be offended, I promise.
c. You could stick with purchasing things to help out. That way, if it does fall through, you still have gotten something for your money. We are still selling bracelets that help with workers in the Apparent Project. We are also doing bake sales and crochet sales.
d. You could speak with our social worker after we complete all our paperwork, get the ok that we passed from her, and then give towards closing our home study. She is a wonderful lady and would be happy to speak with you.
2. "No offense, I don't really like you and I'm not sure I want you raising a child because you suck."
Ok, I know not many people reading this feels this strongly(or you probably wouldnt be reading this). Perhaps you disagree with our parenting skills, have concerns about Jeremy and I and our relationship, disagree with our political or religious views, or just plain don't get along with one or both of us. I understand that this happens and I'm going to address it.
If you don't like us, that is OK. Everyone has a different personality and some people just clash. But if you know us, you know our kids. If you have a chance to talk to our kids about the adoption, about us as parents, or just chat with them you will see that they are good kids. Not just good but great kids. They love the Lord, they love people, they love learning, they love volunteering, they love going places and doing things, they love to chat with people, they behave themselves(as much as a 2 year old can). We go on tons of outings, we play games, we read books. The kids play house, they color, they are friends. We have raised some good kids. Now consider if we added another. That child who has no family would be a part of our family and would be as awesome as our other kids. So if you don't like us as people, that is fine. But if you think we are doing a good job raising our kids, please consider giving.
3. "You are a mean parent."
I'm throwing this one in there because someone who I considered a friend said this behind my back. The reason she said it is because she feels that I keep my kids home and un-socialized, that I force them to do chores, and that I don't allow my kids to do the things other kids are allowed to do: date, sleepovers, etc.
I'm afraid there is not a lot I can say about this. We do home school and we do feel this is something we were lead to do. We do allow Godly relationships and right now Christians best friend is a girl. We want to encourage healthy relationships with the opposite sex and we will always encourage our kids to love everyone, but we do not think dating is a good way to learn about the character of the person they should marry. We feel this control over our children's friendships has lead to amazing, Godly and loving relationships with their friends. Their relationships, especially Mariah's, Fran's and Cosette's, are richer. They don't have 10 friends they barely know, they have 3 or 4 friends that feel like sisters to them. Its different but it is not wrong.
And yes....my children will always have chores. Because that is life. :-)
So if you feel this way I want to assure you that my children are happy and socialized. Again, your feelings over us personally are not what you should look at. Please take a look at our children. If you enjoy them and enjoy spending time with them and talking to them then please consider giving.
4. Chinese is INSANE and UNREASONABLE to expect you to pay $45,000 to take a child from their country that 1. they dont want and 2. they shouldn't have in a country with 1.3 BILLION people.
Ok. This is a very difficult argument for me. Do I think that they are spending $500 on paperclips? $1,000 for someone to call us to talk about our dossier? No, I don't think that it should be as expensive as all this. I think it should be that we do our background checks, our walk through, our references, talk to our kids and to us a bunch of times and then hand us over a child. I think the hurdles we have to jump through and the money we have to shell out can make people very irritated with the adoption process and not want to give. I do understand this argument, I know how you feel.
There are so many orphans in this world and so many more being born every minute. In some countries, China for example, babies with cleft palates are dying of starvation. And as much as we would love to turn our nose up at China and say, you know what? You can forget your $45,000, you are horrible for forcing people to pay for children you don't even want......we can't. BECAUSE THIS ISN'T ABOUT CHINA. Its not about China or the money or being ripped off. Babies are dying. Children who have nothing wrong with them except they are deaf or blind are being shut up in institutions or shunned their entire lives because of something that can be worked with and something they had no choice about. Its not about China. Its about a child that needs a home, a home that we can provide with so much love. Until there is a better way, a better method to get kids out of China, one that doesn't require all the paperwork or the money, this is how it is done and this is the way we must do it.
Don't be so irritated about the money or about the method that you don't want to give and provide a child with a home. Please accept that this is the only way to save children from suffering. For now, with us working together, we can get a child out of a bad situation, get them a surgery that might save their lives, give them a home with people that want them so bad they do say, forget that country....we are going to do it anyway, we are going to be the better people. Please, put that concern aside, consider giving.
5. What about American orphans? Why cant you get a child here?
Jeremy and I originally had plans to adopt from the US. We looked into it and found that it was a lot more complicated than we originally thought. The main way to adopt children from the US is through foster care but we knew that that was not something we wanted to do. After trying unsuccessfully to find a place that would allow us to outright adopt we gave up and found All Gods Children. After reading about the orphanages and conditions in China we decided that was where we needed to be.
We know that in the future we will continue to help orphans around the world, including the US. But this is what God has put before us for now. Every child needs and should have a home. There are 50 million children orphaned in China(UNICEF). There are 100,000 in the US(UNICEF). Just to show you the need in China, plus tell you that on top of that China will not help its orphaned Children even though there are more than enough Chinese people to do so, I hope you realize that Chinese orphans need outside help.
Thank you so much for considering giving to bring our baby(or child) home. Like I have said, we have a long way to go. When you think of the $32,000 we owe before our child comes home(this includes about $20,000 for travel to China for 2 weeks), the $2500 to complete our home study seems like nothing so you think you can just give later. But I can tell you now it is a HUGE hurtle. We have $165 towards that. We are not too proud to tell you that we can't do it without God and you. Please consider giving.
Just as an added incentive we have two events planned. When we complete our dossier we will be throwing a huge party with everyone who gave towards our adoption or filled out a reference as special guests. When we come home with our baby, after he or she is adopted and is settled in, we will be having another party(probably a little low-key or we will freak our baby out :-) with everyone who was involved in anyway in this process and they will be the first to meet our new son or daughter! So just another little nudge :-).
To give either anonymously or using your name please visit www.gofundme.com/hoffmanadoption. You can also call us at 585-738-6057 and get our address to give by mail. You can also give by paypal, please email me at davidspsalm_23@yahoo.com.
Thank you so much for your help. We are truly blessed to be your friend.
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