The excitement

Lots of things about this adoption are nerve wracking. The waiting. The thought of the home study that I hear from people is "long and invasive". The fundraising.

But under all the paperwork and waiting we are so excited!!!! I just love going onto the All Gods Children website and seeing all the adorable babies and precious children waiting for their new homes! I get such a thrill when I see the word "matched" under a name! Matched means that some amazing, awesome, loving person or couple or family has decided to make that baby or child a part of their family! Even if it is a child that I was daydreaming could be ours, there is not one thought of that once I see that child has finally got a family- no more waiting for them!!! I get such a thrill knowing that, one day, that "matched" will mean that that baby or child is OURS and that we will be bringing her(or him) home soon to meet her sisters and brothers!!!

When all my kids were born those first few months were magical. While other moms may dread those nights up I treasured every second of it, even more so for each birth. Every night away meant that I got to spend a few precious hours with my baby alone. I know that our new baby may not have many awake nights, she will be a little older, but I know that I will set aside time, perhaps in the evenings when the others have gone to bed, for just us. It won't be those middle of the night nursing sessions with my biological children, but I'm determined to make it a special time for us. It doesn't have to be the same, it just has to be ours.

I know that the time leading up to getting matched, the time leading up to traveling to China, the first few days and nights(and possibly even years, we just don't know!) with our precious one will have their challenges. I am not dreaming that this is all a walk in the park. All the paperwork and fundraising has proven to be one mountain of challenges after another. But knowing that this is Gods will for us, that one day our baby will have her own family, that she will be loved unconditionally and so so much, that she will have siblings that would die for her.....the challenges are nothing. She is everything.

I love her already.